His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
