I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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