I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Still dying that you shit outside
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
