Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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