I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
