so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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