So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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