We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
