Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
