nut hugger
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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