I'm so fucking centered right now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
