Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
