I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
