i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
