thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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