someone get that fucking seahorse.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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