you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
