sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
