walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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