yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to have your abortion
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
