well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
