It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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