when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
