i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
