talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
