"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
