I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
