Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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