He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
