I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
