i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
