Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
