Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
