I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
