my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
