elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
