Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
