i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
