Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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