ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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