Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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