I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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