yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
