do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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