We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
