Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I deserve this hangover.
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