Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
