So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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