So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish you could order shots online.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
