If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
